We talked with Özlem Çetinkaya about the secret of a balanced and happy life
Duygu Bay – PembeNar Özel
Who is Özlem Çetinkaya?
Who is Özlem Çetinkaya has so many answers… Apart from countless Özlem Çetinkaya, the perceptions, judgments, thoughts of people I know and don’t know about me… Anything; “Who am I?” does not start with the question?
Özlem Çetinkaya; a mother, a wife, a son, a friend for some, only a friend, or even just an acquaintance for some … If I answer professionally, Özlem Çetinkaya; a writer, editor, shadow writer, someone who prepares an interview, presents her own radio program at Radio Gedik as soon as possible – October 17th … At the same time, I teach reiki trainings, give mandala training and change the perspective. I talk about living happier, I share my experiences. He has a hotel management of 12 years in the past. According to the zodiac signs Özlem Çetinkaya; A Libra woman who is a rising moon sign Capricorn. A person who is in love with learning and sharing what I have learned.
If you say in one word, my answer is; It would be “curious”.
Can you explain the concept of balanced life a little?
The most important thing in life is balance.
Mental, physical and spiritual balance is very important… These will first be in their own balance, and then they will create a balance in their relations with each other. The balanced life guide is the person who gives insight in the formation of these balances, shares what they know, and supports the applications.
Is there a balance in life? Of course, if we do not put our nose in the natural balance, but we humans do our best to break this balance, and then we strive to find our own balance again and even drift towards unhappiness. Let’s follow the cycles of nature and pass all these cycles – with endings and beginnings – from heart to heart; See how happiness and balance come by itself.
You tell a story of self-discovery in your first novel, Tramola. How does the self-discovery process begin? Should there be any triggering factors such as love or loss in this process?
It is a novel that everyone can find a piece of itself in tackla because we all live almost the same things. We all have had times when we try to force the clothes that others have made for us, we all have lived in times when we thought we couldn’t love love and lose hope of love, we all have friends who play an important role in our lives.
For some it is delightful from the outside, everything is ok; home, work, spouse, child… But there is a feeling of emptiness that covers the whole area. The process of discovery begins when that sense of emptiness draws you inside. It’s like starting to look for a light in the dark.
“Love” is an important concept in many people’s lives. We always look for the person we will be a whole. However, there is no such thing; because we are all one within us, looking for another half of us is a huge waste of time and a waste of time because we are looking for something that is not there.
Or losses; Such times are also triggering, because the relationships we are addicted leave us alone to meet with ourselves.
But, as I said before, sometimes, when I look at it from the outside, people can enter this discovery process. “I have everything but why am I unhappy? Why can’t I get out of bed? Why am I not enthusiastic? ”
Balance between our business life and our private life so as not to miss life How can we provide it?
The answer to this question again changes for everyone because the answer is directly related to what one perceives as ‘life’, what ‘life purpose’ is.
Our ranking of values is very important to us. While “family” may be the first priority in some people, it is much more in the background. And one is not better or worse than another, it can only vary from person to person, even according to the spiritual and physical condition of the person.
I want to say briefly; first we need to realize our values, then we need to plan our time between these values. If being in business life and earning money is a priority for us at that time, we would not be unhappy that we could not spare enough time for our friends. The balance between private and business life is not about dividing our wake-up 16 hours into 8 to 8 equal jobs and our private life. This is about life satisfaction. Where does your soul feed? This is one of the important questions. It is also important that man discovered his purpose of life. However, I would like to state that; I knew a lot of people who left banking or corporate affairs by saying, “My purpose of life is to touch people, to heal,” and many of them eventually became unhappy. The important thing here is to serve your purpose of life in your work.
No one is another half of the apple, not everyone. Apart from that, “listening” is another very important point. And approaching the events through the peace of togetherness, rather than “righteous” or “injustice” is the most important tool of a balanced relationship. What happens when two people talk at the same time? Nothing comes out of cocophon, right? And we just talked about values; I think it is very important that the values of the parties are close to each other for a balanced relationship. If the “family” is the first priority and the tenth is the priority, it may not be easy to find balance. And to be honest. Whatever we feel, share it with our partner; not to expect it to spontaneously understand. I think clear and open sharing is very important and I try to live my relationship like that. Not only with my husband; with my son, my father, my mother, my friends… I used to be very discreet, I was silent, I waited for them to understand me, I would be upset when I thought they didn’t understand. How can a person maintain balance in a relationship when his / her balance is impaired? Imagine I can’t stand, shake and you hold on to me not to fall? What happens in this case? We both fall, don’t we?
Do you have a formula or key to live a happy life when we look at the whole?
I have a book on happiness; “It’s Really Easy”.
Physical, mental and spiritual balance is very valuable for a happy life. It is easier to live a happy life when there is a balance in both of them and in their relations with each other. I mean happiness, “inner peace”, not moments of pleasure.
We must strive for a happy life, take action. It is not just “ask for it”. “Ask, take action and get it.” Be aware of what you want. Life with awareness is an important step of happy life.
And above all; Don’t ignore the unhappiness! Take and accept unhappy moments.
Finally – perhaps the first – REMEMBER THAT EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY!